Revised Introduction

In this blog post, I will be presenting my old introduction along with the new introduction. I will be discussing my thought process for the introductions.

My new introduction is more powerful because it is more related to the topic of my essay. For example, I excluded all mentions of Octomom and focused instead on male sperm donation and offspring. I also included the terms "ethos, pathos, and logos" by name.

"Keep Calm," Anonymous

Old

The media phenomena Nadya Suleman, better known as “Octomom,” has raised numerous controversies about childbirth, pregnancy, and reproductive technology. On the flip side, Kirk Maxey is making waves for fathering over 400 children through sperm donation. The questions remain: is it ethical to father so many children? What are the consequences of sperm donation? Are people compensated for donations? Rene Almeling attempts to shed some light on the subject of reproductive technological advances by publishing articles such as The Unregulated Sperm Industry. However, Almeling, a thoroughly published Yale sociologist, may have an ulterior motive that must be considered when addressing her work. Through the effective use of anecdotes, tone, and statistical records, Almeling subtly makes use of rhetoric to argue against modern sperm donation.

New

Kirk Maxey lives a normal life in Northville, Michigan with his wife and twelve year old son -- but Maxey also has fathered over 400 other children. During the 1980s, Maxey became involved with sperm donation. Interestingly enough, Maxey’s case is not unique: there are a number of men who have fathered hundreds of offspring. This calls several important questions to mind: is it ethical to father so many children? What are the biological and social implications of sperm donation? What is the motivation for sperm donation? In her New York Times article, “The Unregulated Sperm Industry,” Rene Almeling attempts to answer these questions. However, the Yale professor may have an ulterior agenda that must be considered when addressing her work; this is established through analysis of ethos, pathos, and logos within the context of the piece. Through the effective use of anecdotes, tone, and statistical records, Almeling subtly makes use of rhetoric to argue against modern sperm donation.